Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
