Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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