Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
even my farts smell like vagina
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
