I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
time to smoke my breakfast
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I am one with the molecules
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
