Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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