she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
