Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
