I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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