Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dicks are not precious.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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