Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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