i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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