i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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