why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
