right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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