I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
