very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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