FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize