a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
