nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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