I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
