and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Congratulations! We have a period
im on a boat
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