i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think I sprained my soul last night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
