"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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