I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
