Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
