Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
