Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
