so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
