maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize