some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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