in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
4 words: hood of his car
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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