Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
