Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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