I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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