so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
