Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She told me I should be a condom model.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
