so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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