Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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