I murdered the dance floor call the cops
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
