Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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