He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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