i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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