Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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