...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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