Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
