i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think I won the penis lottery.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
