Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize