I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
