Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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