Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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