Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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