IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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