It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The chlamydia really affected his face.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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