I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
should my penis look like a turkey
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
