I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
