He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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