She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
