just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
