i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
