I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
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