Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
last night I used snow as a chaser
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
