i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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