he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
