I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
