i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
