They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
